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Savannah Will Try to Kill You

Perhaps the reason there are so many ghosts in Savannah is because of the Revolutionary War and Civil War Battles fought on this soil. Or because Savannah is built on top of Muscogee and Yamacraw burial grounds. Or maybe it's just because everything here is trying to kill you. 

baby alligator and turtle

I'm bad about being aware of my changing environment. I know what to watch out for in Colorado, but as I've moved around the country, I've been pretty ignorant of even the basics, like poison ivy and ticks, and about what animals will kill me. I know there are gators in the swamps down here, but I hadn't considered other deadly animals like cottonmouth snakes and feral hogs. Most recently, there's the Joro spider invasion that's made national news. Ok, these won't kill you, but, man, do they look terrifying.

large spider in a bush


You'll also need to watch your step. The brick walkways in the historic downtown are in need of repair in many places, making it easy to trip and crack your head open if you aren't paying attention. The steps down to the river front are steep and uneven too. And since you can walk around drinking freely like it's Vegas, the sign on the steps seems warranted.

woman pretending to fall down stairs

The ever-present threat of getting COVID-19 is strong here. Mask-wearing is a strange situation in Savannah. Some places are uber-strict and non-negotiable, like the museums and the city bus. But in most places, I'd say fewer than ten percent of people wore masks. I'm not sure why the behavior in select locations doesn't carry over, but it's not because Georgians think the virus is a hoax. Business owners know damn well the threat is real because these signs are everywhere. Just get vaccinated, people.

coronavirus warning sign

If you're staying in an historic hotel or rental, don't be surprised if you don't sleep well. The Gullah Geechee Boo Hag might sit on your chest while you sleep and steal your breath. Some people think the Boo Hag can shape shift into a cat. I don't have a cat but I've heard they do sit on their owners' chests at night. Pretty creepy if you think about it. And with the number of stray cats in Savannah, I'm inclined to believe they could be incarnations of evil spirits. (By the way, if you've never heard of the Gullah Geechee people, try this article for historical, non-paranormal information.) 

stray cat in front of a house

And finally on my list of the bearers of death in Savannah, this awful lawyer, who is doing her damndest to kill the feminist movement. 

billboards advertising a female lawyer



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